The Land of Summons
by Honey Kitten
Summary: It's a funny story about what the Summons do while they're not fighting. ^_^ Read it, you'll enjoy it!


Ever wonder what the 'Summons' do while they're not fighting? Well, look no further… (assuming they all have the ability to speak…)  
  
Scene: Shiva is basking in the sun by a pool. Cindy, Sandy, and Mindy are swimming. Ifrit approaches.  
  
Ifrit: Should you be in the sun?  
  
Shiva: What? You think that just because I'm an ice goddess, I can't enjoy the sun? Think again, buddy.  
  
Ifrit: Someone's in a bad mood…  
  
Shiva glares at him, and looks like she's going to reply, but suddenly disappears. She re-appears a few moments later.  
  
Shiva, mockingly: 'Please, help us." It's like I have a choice! Stupid bitch. I was working on my tan. And what'd that dinky enemy have, anyway? 300 HP? Jeez.  
  
Ifrit: I agree. It never used to be like this. I think we-  
  
Suddenly, Ifrit disappears. Yojimbo enters the scene, just at Ifrit re-appears. Yojimbo's dog starts barking.  
  
Ifrit: Shut that damn mutt up! Some of us are trying to talk!  
  
Yojimbo bends down and pats his dog. It quiets down promptly. Shiva snickers.  
  
Shiva: What's the matter? You lose? (she makes a face)  
  
Ifrit: No. I was just summoned to Final Fantasy 7. God, I look horrible in that.  
  
Shiva: You think YOU look bad? Ha! And I wish they'd make up their minds, too. I mean, what are we? Guardian Forces, Aeons, Summons…(Shiva is cut off abruptly as she disappears)  
  
Ifrit, turning to Yojimbo: So, what do you think?  
  
Yojimbo: That you're stupid for not getting paid. (he turns and walks away)  
  
ChocoMog, entering scene: Hey, guys! What's up?  
  
Ifrit: I'm the only one here, you idiot. Well, besides Fatso, Lanky, and the kid.  
  
ChocoMog: Someone needs a hug! (approaches Ifrit)  
  
Ifrit, calmly: Come near me and I'll rip off your stupid stuffed arm and beat you to death with it.  
  
ChocoMog backs off and Shiva re-appears.  
  
Shiva: I swear, if I get summoned for ONE MORE enemy with less than 1000 HP…  
  
ChocoMog: What's a Summon? (Ifrit and Shiva look at each other) No, really guys. What's a Summon? (Ifrit and Shiva walk away, shaking their heads. ChocoMog trails behind.)  
  
In the pool, Cindy does a cannon ball, and Sandy and Mindy go flying out of the pool on a large wave.  
  
Sandy: Dammit, I was enjoying myself.  
  
Mindy: My virgin ears!  
  
Cindy: Oops, sorry guys.  
  
Mindy: That's ok, sis!  
  
Sandy: You're cramping my style. (looks at sun) Well, I have to go get ready. I have a date with Bahamut Zero tonight.  
  
Mindy: With HIM? He's a jerk!  
  
Sandy: It's not like I have a lot of options.  
  
Cindy: I wish I could get a date.  
  
Sandy, skeptical: With THAT body? Maybe if you lose some weight, honey.  
  
Suddenly, they disappear. Quezacotyl and Ixion appear, followed by Valefor.  
  
Quezocotyl, arguing: You don't know the first thing about Thunder, Ix-i- on!  
  
Ixion: Nay.  
  
Quezocotyl: Oh, don't even pretend you can't talk, horse-boy.  
  
Ixion: I wasn't, you low level summon. I was simply disagreeing with you. And about 'horse boy.' You've no right to insult me. I mean, what the hell ARE you? A bird? Do you even have a face?  
  
Quezocotyl: Well, look at Valefor over there. He's not much better.  
  
Ixion: At least he has a face.  
  
Anime suddenly appears. Quezocotyl, Ixion, and Valefor scatter.  
  
Anime: What IS the deal with that?! I'm a very fun-loving kinda gal. Just 'cause the plastic surgery went slightly wrong…  
  
There's a flash in the sky, and the Magus Sisters appear. They're walking off towards a building. In the distance, you hear them saying, "Damn game. Who the hell decided to put us in BEE suits? I'm working with morons…"  
  
Golem, rolling up: Hey there. Haven't seen you around. I'm Golem.  
  
Anima: Um, are you sure you're supposed to be here?  
  
Golem. Sure. I'm an Esper. So, what's up?  
  
Happy to have finally made a friend, Anime and Golem walked off, chattering blissfully about political matter. Shiva and Ifrit walk back into the scene.  
  
Shiva: Man, I'm glad we finally ditched that stupid doll. I mean, how dumb can you get? The idiot didn't even know what a Summon was. Of course, that could be because no one ever equips him…  
  
Ifrit, looking up: Hey! We're in a fanfic!  
  
Shiva, angrily: Dammit, I haven't talked to my agent about this!  
  
Ifrit: Stupid know-it-all authors. I'll show you! HELLFIRE!  
  
  
  
Ifrit's Hellfire did relatively little damage, but unfortunately, it did hit (and knock over) Doomtrain, who had Odin and Eden in it. It fell over and hit Golem, which pissed Anima off. Once they had all unleashed their attacks, Summonville lay in waste. Thus ends the fic.  
  
  
  
…For now… 


End file.
